Freedom of growing up - or the prison of safety? Part 2/2

In part 1 I said the prison guard of our intellectual freedom are we, ourselves. To be free, requires the tolerance of insecurity. If all we want is to be safe, we cannot be free, because out there - in the unknown - there is no safety. And this is why only few people are the carriers of light, the leaders and the ones taking the responsibility when others hesitate.

“When the old culture is dying, the new culture is created by people who are not afraid to be insecure.”  (Rudolf Bahro)

Ok, true, but what this has to do with the personal freedom and everyday life? Well, everything. Inside you, the definition of "big things" and "small things" are on a totally different scale you first might think.  And regardless the problem, there's usually just development or stagnation. Your problem might be that you're afraid telling your wife you love her so much the jealousy makes you act like you wouldn't love her. Or then you have to present claims on the behalf of the group of people who have chosen you, out of trust, to represent them. Which one is easier?

I'd say the last one is easier. The first one has too many choices, too many points to avoid the decision and too many possibilities to stick to old habits. "I am like this", "I wouldn't be myself if I'd act differently", "I am the one who needs to be understood". Bunch of lies you've told yourself many times? I recognize those. And many more. It's easier to choose safety, easier to do as you've always done when there's no one backing you up. Choosing something different, would be a jump to unknown. If you have but a few people to agree with you, it provides the necessary feeling of safety. When you have but yourself, you have nothing to create that safe feeling. Except choosing the option you know already, the safe one. And again you choose safety even though it means you hurt the people you didn't want to. And worse, that choice makes you go around that same circle you wanted to break.
 
Many too often behind the declarations "I am what I am" you can hear totally different message. What you really meant is "I have no courage to change." It is easier to stick to the last point where you were even close to happy and balanced person. Fine, you can furnish that little island too and build the walls around you, but you will always know you're on a lonely island. And the walls around your soul you're building do not keep the warmth inside.

...This requires the part 3. For breaking the circle of old habits, finding the personal power to do that and still be able to function normally, is no easy thing. There's also a lot of traps in personal transformation and development; for example once in a while you meet someone who tells you about the great change, but all you can see is the same person with new clothes. But since I've never been good in providing this kind of consultation, I cannot promise the third part to you. It would require me to change my aspects. But I promise to try. And when you find the third part from here, you will know the change is possible ;)